It was Christmas eve, Mr Yellow and his family were celebrating Christmas just like every year. They would have dinner, watch TV and then wait till it's 12am to open presents. Blue was more excited than ever to open his presents. He wished for a BlackBerry. His sister, Pink was not as excited as him as she only wished for an Apple iPod. Their eldest brother, Brown was the least thrilled. He wished for more wishes. When the clock striked 12am, they quickly opened their presents and all their faces totally changed. Blue and Pink started screaming at their parents for getting them a"Blackberry" and an "Apple". Brown told them, "Hey, when I was your age, I only had pokemon cards". Mrs Yellow was actually shocked when they wrote down their wishlist. She thought she could save money this year just buying fruits for them, but now she found out she misunderstood them. After the whole night fighting and arguing, they finally stopped as it was getting late.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

Brain not working right this holiday, so yeah. broken english ftw! :D

Credits to tumblr :P

My story for English class: 'Killer Cookie Monster'

Intro:

Elmo: fluffy, red-coloured fur, best friends with Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster: aggressive and obsessive about his cookies, blu-coloured fur, best friends with Elmo

Oscar the Grouch: lives in a garbage can outside COokie Monster’s and Elmo’s cottage

Grover: dark blue fur, lanky, gangster-like

Setting: their cottage is near some woods, with huge open fields and grassy hills around

Conflict:

1. Cookie monster feeds rabbits, while Elmo is playing with newly-bought light saber in garden. Oscar comes into garden, and asks if he can try the light saber. But Elmo says “Okay, in awhile.” 
2. Oscar becomes impatient and tried to grab the light saber from Elmo who is absent-mindedly swinging it around, unaware of what Oscar was doing.
3. As a result, Elmo accidentally slices off Oscar’s head with the light saber.

Action related to conflict:

1. Elmo is shocked and scared, and doesn’t know what to do. Then he looks down, and sees that the bloodstains on his fur had blended right in with his red fur. He has an idea.
2. Elmo runs up to Cookie Monster and hugs him, making the bloodstains stain bright on his blue fur. Cookie Monster looks up and sees the decapitated Oscar’s body, and realizes what Elmo is doing. Elmo then phones the police, Ernie and Bert, and tells them that Cookie Monster killed Oscar.
3. Cookie Monster asks Elmo why he is doing this, and Elmo cries and apologizes, saying he wasn’t thinking, and that he was very scared. Cookie Monster forgives him, and says that he will handle the cops when they arrive.

Climax:

1. Ernie and Bert, the cops, arrive. They take out pistols and point them at Cookie Monster, who distracts them and buys time by keeping the cops talking. He slowly walks backwards until he reaches a chainsaw.
2. Cookie Monster grabs the chainsaw and kills Ernie and Bert.
3. Cooke Monster hugs the crying Elmo goodbye, and tells him that he is running away. He tells Elmo to stay at the cottage, and clear things up, and that if people come looking for Cookie Monster to tell them that he committed suicide. They hug goodbye, and Cookie Monster sets off.

Resolution (Open Ending):

1. A year later, Cookie Monster is watching television in his flat, when there is a knock on his front door.
2. He opens the door and sees Grover, who is pointing a gun at him.

 Grover says that he had been tracking Cookie Monster down ever since he heard that he had committed suicide, because he hadn’t believed it, and also because he wanted to take revenge on Cookie Monster for killing his father, Bert.

1. Grover shoots Cookie Monster in the head, and runs away.

School Life: School Production

  Today started just like any other boring day at production rehearsal. But soon it became quite exciting. It all started when Mr A asked the orchestra members to help with the props for the day, because he said we always 'sit around and do nothing and play computer games only'. NOT TRUE WHAT! We always doing something. Just not playing instrument all the time only. Conductor also playing Plants vs Zombies on iPad!

  So, anyways, we went to help, because we are good students. Four of us decided to do painting, because painting is fun. My paint was red, Nicola's was blue, Xin Li's was yellow and Andrew's was pink. We got to work.

  First we had to paint the fake bookshelf on the top of the stairs. We decided to make it look interesting because it would be nicer. So we very pro and splash the paint everywhere on the bookshelf. Then suddenly Mr A saw and scolded us. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!? WHY GO AND PAINT LIKE THAT!? NOW ALL SPOIL ALREADY!!"

  Suddenly Nicola slipped on a spot of paint, and knocked me. My bucket of red paint went flying over the railing and on top of Mr A's screaming head. He was shocked for a moment, but then started yelling again. But it was very muffled because the bucket was stuck on his head, and he was probably swallowing mouthfuls of red paint. He was also wearing white, so his shirt had red all over it, and it looked like blood. He tried screaming for help and trying to get it off, but he couldn't.

  The four of us just stood there watching at the struggling Mr A. Suddenly he walked out of the hall door, and the four of us followed him to see where he was going. He tripped going down stairs, and rolled all the way to the bottom, finally the bucket on his head colliding with the floor. He cursed out loud and tried feeling his way around with his hands. Xin Li took alot of pictures. I can't wait for her to tag him on facebook.

  Then suddenly Mr A barged into year 9 Terra. The whole class stared at him, then started screaming. They thought the paint was blood. The teacher tried to calm the class down, but when she saw Mr A she also started cursing in Hindu. So Mr A turned around, and didn't know it but walked into Pn. Zainab's office. She took one look at him and fainted.

  Soon, as he was walking around scaring students til they fainted, the sick room in our school started filling up. One fat boy had to be sent to hospital because he was eating a fishball and choked on it when he saw Mr A, and a girl also sent to hospital because she saw him and suffered heart attack.

  I think today was a very fun day, and Mr A learnt a lesson: never ever yell at students again.

  I think he got fired.

Cikgu Rahman bersama lapan orang muridnya sedang berkhemah di sebuah hutan di negeri Pahang. Suasana di hutan itu sungguh nyaman dan sejuk. Mereka mendirikan khemah di tepi sungai yang jernih airnya. Mereka menikmati makan tengah hari, tiba-tiba salah seorang murid bernama Ramesh menjerit setelah terlihat seekor gajah meruntuhkan khemah mereka. Di belakang gajah, kelihatan banyak pengganas melari ke arah mereka dengan senjata AK-47. Mereka mendekati Cikgu Rahman dan berminta main 'knife match' dengannya. Untuk menyelamatkan muridnya yang sedang dikejar oleh gajah, Cikgu Rahman mengunakan Macbook dia dan main 'knife'. Beliau telah memanjat ke atas Killhouse. Terlihat banyak c4 di atas lantai. Pengganas itu bodoh dan pergi knife itu lalu mati. Akhirnya hingga Bin Laden yang tinggal ah means ah Mr ..... telah menggunakan ah means ah RPG untuk membunuh ah means ah gajah itu. Selepas mengagal knife pengganas itu, Bin Laden menggunakan helah memanggil helicopter. Cikgu Rahman telah RPG helikopter itu dan akhirnya menggunakan kerisnya membunuh Bin Laden. Semua orang bersorak dan pergi menyaksikan perkahwinan Kevin dan Amanda. Justin bin Bieber telah menyanyikan lagu "Babi" untuk akhir movie awesome itu.

Credits to Andrew :D hahahahahah!

that's why we always get an A for malay exam :)

The house shooked, the windows rattled, a framed photograph of Mr _____ slipped off the shelf and fell into the hearth. There was an earthquake because his fat wife just entered the house, the windows were broken and the photo was not hung properly. Then, the clock z 13. A moments silent, a whistle blew and the garden became filled with moving shadows and running footsteps. Mr _____'s friends were all waiting for him to come back from his shop, Mr _____'s Maths Tuition ( open 25 hours a day ) to give him a surprise. They all bought him a "pie", perfume and Gatsby hair gel. Sophia bought him a clock that only have 12 hours.

When Mr _____ reached home, he grabbed his kids from the car and hung them by the tree. He started whipping them and asked them why they did not get 100 for maths. They cried for mercy. His wife tried to stop him but she ended up getting hung and whipped too. His friends said SURPRISE! and he died of a heart attack.

Stupid Climb.

It was one early morning when I decided to go mountain climbing. I called the center at Kota Kinabalu and asked if I could book a time. They said that they would be free from 2pm and that there were a lot of people, but I was okay with it and agreed with the planning. I quickly ate a packet of Chipsmore cookies that I had left in the freezer for about 2 months in case of emergency, then quickly took a bus ride to the nearest jetty in east Malaysia. But the only boat available was a ferry so it took me about 4 hours, so I couldn't see anything else, and by the time I got to the Mt. Kinabalu place it was 2.30 pm and raining. Luckily the other people were still waiting there, and I insisted on going, so we did. Halfway up I got stuck to a tree and couldn't get out for the next few hours since everyone else wanted to go up first, so I was left there to starve and get even more soaked with the now banjir-causing rain. When they finally came down I had gotten out of the tree myself and was now at the top of Mt. Kinabalu, which unfortunately did not have snow anymore thanks to global warming. The End.

Pier Pressure

DJ Fatboy not so Slim threw a party and only 1 reveller came ( but he went back home since there was no one there ) . He was all alone eating Ramli burgers by the seaside. Then, his friend, DJ Slimboy not so Fat came with some chapaties. Suddenly, an officer named Chief Inspector Not Fat Not Slim came and asked whether they are still hungry. So DJ Fatboy not so slim, DJ Slimboy not so fat and Chief Inspector Not Fat Not Slim went to Burger King. That means ah get fat, no more slim.

Come on people :)

UPDATEEEE!

yes im spamming everywhere with my super awesome essay. kthanksbye.

Dear sir,

I went to your "Lookout Mountain" and I had to LOOK for your mountain. I went there with high hopes but I came back with low hopes. Your "mountain" is so beautiful, I saw your Proton Saga behind the projector ( P.S. : you should really get a new car ).

My friend, Ali, who is a professional hiker almost died after climbing your mountain. Your "pilots" were sitting in the Proton Saga behind the projector rolling chapaties with their "hangs".

Therefore, I want my money back. You have to pay for the petrol of my car. KMA! CEH! We took 12 hours to find your stupid mountains. First, we drove to Singapore. Then, we kayaked to Fuckhet. On the way, we stopped at Bangcock to see some peacocks. Finally, we reached at your "oh-so-called lookout mountains".

Thank you for your cheap time. At least you know that I am still alive but you better pray for me. I got food poisoning from eating your chapaties and I broke all my bones. Now, I am like a snake and I will bite you.

I couldn't help it. XD

The constant battle between Coke and Pepsi

School Life: Me, My MacBook and My Charger

  Yesterday was a very interesting day. The chicken rice lady fainted when I insisted for the tenth time that I wanted Siew Yoke Fan. But that's not the story. Anyways, someone started a fire in school, and I still can't think of anyone who would do something like that. It went something like this:

  

  I was getting very bored during Literature class, because the teacher is very boring. So when she finally said in her indian accent, "Oh-kayy kelarss (class), yoo all can take out yorr machboooooks and start rrrreading dis poemm on dis webbsite", we immediately took out our computers and started unblocking sites like facebook etc.

  That was when I realized that my macbook had no battery, and I was sitting in the middle of the classroom, where there was no power-point to plug in my charger. But luckily, I had brought my extra-long wire, so I pulled out some idiot's charger from the plug at the back, and plugged in my own, dragging the long wire across the many bags and pieces of paper strewn across the floor. Finally I plugged it into my computer, sighed a sigh of relief, and began unblocking facebook.

  About halfway through class, (it was a double-period), I smelled something burning. I turned around, and saw that a piece of paper near my charger was on fire. I did not want everyone to panic, because that would be horrible, so I calmly spoke right across the classroom in a loud, clear voice, clearly addressing the Literature teacher, "Teacher, there's a fire at the back of the classroom. Do you think we could make smores?"

  And that was when the stupid annoying girl in my class yelled, "FIIIIIREEEEE!!!!" What a stupid girl! I was talking to the teacher, not her! Why did she have to amplify the fact?! Now I would never get to make my smores.

  I sat back and watched then as student after student screamed, while the teacher started cursing in Hindu and screamed as well. The whole class was running amok, so I took it into my own hands to make everyone settle down:

  "QUIEETT!" I yelled.

  To my surprise, everyone stood still and stared at me.

  "Guess what? There's an even BIGGER fire on the floor above us, so we don't have to worry about this small one in our class. Ain't that great??" I said.

  

  They burst into screams again, this time exclaiming things like, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEE" or "I DONT WANNA DIE YOUNG!" or "WHY HAVE THE GODS DONE THIS TO US!?". Tsk, whiners.

  I shook my head and sighed, then glanced around to see how big the fire was getting. It was now up to the window, and everyone's bags (except mine, thankfully, because it was with me) was on fire now, too. In their panicked state, the students had thrown their books and paper up in the air, and the books and papers had fallen into the flames, making it even bigger.

  The class next door had come over to see what all the screaming was about, and when they saw what was happening they started screaming as well. Can you just imagine the noise!? My poor ears!

  Finally someone had the sense to go and call the disciplinary teacher, Mrs Ganesh. (Yes, also indian.)

  "VAT IS GOING ON HERE? YOU STUPID STUDENTS ALWAYS-- AAAH FIIIREEE!!!" she yelled.

  She ran outside, and called the fire department. Then she warned all the other teachers to take all the students out of the building. I followed them, and realized that the screams were turning into cheers, because apparently the school day was going to be cut short due to the fire.

  In about 10 minutes, the fire brigade arrived, and managed to put out the raging flames. No one was hurt, unfortunately.

  The next day, back at school, there was an assembly, and the principle said that the fire had been caused by a student who had pulled a charger across bags and papers on the classroom floor, and therefore the heat and radiation from the charger had ignited the papers. But they did not know which student had done it.

  I shook my head, thinking how stupid the person was. I mean, who in their right mind would drag a charger across flammable objects on the floor, right? Sometimes there can be such stupid people at my school. I can't wait to see what will happen tomorrow!

Vocabulary: Wordbuilding Activity 5 (without corrections) XD

TIME TO REVIVE.
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I have some very please memories of my child. We live in a romance cottage in the country with love view of Lake Windermere. We had a wonder garden lots of animals. However, I memory one year extreme well. I was eight and one of my favour animals was a goose called Mabel. After coming back from school, I used to food Mabel. With me, she was usual very quiet and friend. With everybody else though, Mabel was very nasty and aggression. That winter was very cold and the snow was nearly a metre depth. On Christmas Day, we had a tradition lunch - goose and Christmas pudding. I was cheer until I realised that the goose was Mabel! My happy immediately disappeared and I spent the rest of the meal in tears.



sad story but unfortunately my sister and I couldn't stop laughing when I read it out. thank goodness there was no skype video/audio chat going on. XD

from the yr 9 english textbook, pg. 7 :P

Taylor the Latte Boy Rebuttal lyrics

Found the video on Xin Li's blog, and decided to post the lyrics! HAHAHA so funny!!

There’s a girl who comes to Starbucks,

I think she has a crush on me,

I think she has a crush on me,

‘cause it’s too big to ignore;

She comes in every morning,

at exactly 8.11,

At exactly 8.11,

She comes walking through that door;

And then one fateful morning,

when she made her usual lectures,

I could tell that she was nervous,

and she had something to say,

So I smoothly flipped the lever

to prepare her double latte,

and she said her name was ‘Lindsey’,

and I came back with ‘Hey’.

And I told her ‘My name’s Taylor, and here’s a little extra foam’,

When she left, i cleaned her table,

but I found a folded napkin with this poem:

“Taylor the latte boy,

bring me java, bring me joy,

oh Taylor the latte boy,

I love him, I love him, I love him!”

So I should have got my nerve up

and just said i wasn't interested

but since she was clearly interested 

it all got out of hand;

‘Cause before i found her poem

we had had this conversation

I had told that I was playing

in the village with my band

When i walked in friday evening

to our gig in Arthur’s basement

I saw Lindsey in the front row

and I heard her scream my name

Then my friend said, “Man she’s crazy!

She's been here since 7:30,

and she told me she's your girlfriend,

and she's really glad she came!”

And then when our gig was over she followed me the whole way home.

As I ran to try and lose her

I composed another version of her poem:

"Lindsey, The Stalker Chick,

You’re a psycho, and you're sick,

oh, Lindsey, the stalker chick,

you scare me,

you scare me,

you scare me!"

I used to be the kind of guy

Who never was rude or doubting

but now I've got this lunatic freak in my life

every night now at my window she's shouting,

“Taylor! The latte boy!”

“Go away, I’m not your toy!

Taylor the latte boy..

is calling,

is calling,

the police!”

Many a girl has let me court her,

but I've never needed a restraining order

Lindsey, come find me now,

I'm transferring to a new Starbucks,

there's 20 on each block,

so good luck!

Mine. :P *updated because I was bored

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Water
2. Last phone call: Item Deliverer from Habitat shop @ England o_O
3. Last text message: Something like "I'm at the right corner at the back." commencements :P
4. Last song you listened to: Boxman 2.0 by Smosh
5. Last time you cried: My sister snapped at me today. moody sister = emo me ):

HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: No.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Never have yet, so how should I know :\
9. Lost someone special: Yep. :(
10. Been depressed: You kidding? takes up 65% of my life. :(
11. Been drunk and threw up: oO NO.


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Cyan :)
13. Gold
14. Emerald Green/Lilac/White can't decide D:

YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: The salesperson at Selfridges today. :D
16. Fallen out of love: Uhm....yeah. A lot. :\
17. Laughed until you cried : Once, maybe? Long ago, I think.
18. Met someone who changed you: YES. A MILLION TIMES. :D
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yeah. :)
20. Found out someone was talking about you: A thousand times over. >:(
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: WTFISHCRACKERS. NO.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 99.9% of them.
23. How many kids do you want to have: err....2? 3? 0? :\
24. Do you have any pets: 4 dogs and 7 feesh. :P
25. Do you want to change your name: If people keep on calling me Nicole, then yes. >:\
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Play 'Happy Birthday' on the violin in a minor key, and it placed a curse on everyone. >:P
27. What time did you wake up today: 6.45 am, and approx. 12.35 officially.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: School to return. :(
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 1 minute ago. :P
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My lack of social competance. :(
32. What are you listening to right now: British news from the living room. :P
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: err....yes, maybe? dunno......
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: dunno...
35. Most visited webpage: this. maybe. or tumblr. :\
36. What's your real name: Nicola Chin
37. Nicknames: Nic, Nick, Nicki, Aunty, KFC Dan Tart (i've got countless more, don't ask....)
38. Relationship Status: Single. Said and done. >:P
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini.
40. Male or female?: Physically female, psychologically 65% male. (tomboy-wise) >:P
41. Elementary: Sekolah Sri Petaling :D
42. Middle School: SMK Assunta > Cempaka International School (:
43. High school/college?: Benenden School for Girls??? :\
44. Hair colour: very very very dark brown.
45. Weight: forgot. :P
46. Height: approx. 153-4 cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: several times. -.-'
48: What do you like about yourself?: tomboy-ness?
49. Piercings: 2.....
50. Tattoos: only if temporary, but very unlikely.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty, wants to be ambidextrous. :P


FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Not for now.
53. First piercing: .....somewhere between 11 and 13. :\
54. First best friend: first ah??? got 2. :P Sreedharan/Ram Rengasamy Pillai. (:
55. First sport you joined: I FORGOT. swimming maybe?
56. First vacation: Probably Pangkor Laut Resort. :DDDDDDDDDD


RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Just ate dinner. Marks and Spencer's microwaved beef/carrots/mash potatoes and salad :D
60. Drinking: Drank water
61. I'm about to: Take bath.
62. Listening to: News and drill noise. >:(
63. Waiting on: Nothing.

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Not really. I'm undecided. :P
65. Get Married?: Maybe?
66. Career?: Free-lance Artist/Musician/Wolf Conservation Activist/IHAVENODIEA


WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes: ...eyes, I guess. but still cacat.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Younger.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: SPONTANEOUS FTW. :D
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: stomach, but preferably both.
73. Sensitive or loud: neither, but maybe sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant? :\


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Never in a million years D:
77. Drank hard liquor: No and NEVER.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No.
79. Sex on first date: WTFISHCRACKERS.
80. Broken someone's heart: I might have. Sorry. Forgive me if I did. )':
82. Been arrested: No. (--')
83. Turned someone down: Maybe?
84. Cried when someone died: Yeah. A lot.
85. Fallen for a friend?: .....yeah. been there, past that. :\


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: With God, yes. (:
87. Miracles: DUH.
88. Love at first sight: In some way, yes.
89. Heaven: YES!
90. Santa Claus: Yes, in a roundabout manner. I believe in the St. Nicholas Santa Claus. :P
91. Kiss on the first date: Maybe?
92. Angels: YEAH!


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No.
95. Did you sing today?: .....kinda.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: Nope.
97. If you could go back in time: Make affirmative my NON-relationship status with andrew. >:\
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it? First Commencements. (:
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Yeah, I suppose :(
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Yep. ;)

COMPULSARY FOR EVERYONE HERE TO DO. >:P

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage:
2. Last phone call:
3. Last text message:
4. Last song you listened to:
5. Last time you cried:

HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: .
8. Kissed someone & regretted it:
9. Lost someone special:
10. Been depressed:
11. Been drunk and threw up:


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.
13.
14.

YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15.
16. Fallen out of love:
17. Laughed until you cried :
18. Met someone who changed you:
19. Found out who your true friends were:
20. Found out someone was talking about you:
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
23. How many kids do you want to have:
24. Do you have any pets:
25. Do you want to change your name:
26. What did you do for your last birthday:
27. What time did you wake up today:
28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
30. Last time you saw your Mother:
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
32. What are you listening to right now:
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
35. Most visited webpage:
36. What's your real name:
37. Nicknames:
38. Relationship Status:
39. Zodiac sign:
40. Male or female?:
41. Elementary:
42. Middle School:
43. High school/college?:
44. Hair colour:
45. Weight: forgot.
46. Height:
47. Do you have a crush on someone?:
48: What do you like about yourself?:
49. Piercings:
50. Tattoos:
51. Righty or lefty:


FIRSTS :
52. First surgery:
53. First piercing:
54. First best friend:
55. First sport you joined:
56. First vacation:

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating:
60. Drinking:
61. I'm about to:
62. Listening to:
63. Waiting on:

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?:
65. Get Married?:
66. Career?:


WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes:
68. Hugs or kisses:
69. Shorter or taller:
70. Older or Younger:
71. Romantic or spontaneous:
72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
73. Sensitive or loud:
74. Hook-up or relationship:
75. Trouble maker or hesitant:


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger:
77. Drank hard liquor:
78. Lost glasses/contacts:
79. Sex on first date:
80. Broken someone's heart:
82. Been arrested:
83. Turned someone down:
84. Cried when someone died:
85. Fallen for a friend?:


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself:
87. Miracles:
88. Love at first sight:
89. Heaven:
90. Santa Claus:
91. Kiss on the first date:
92. Angels:


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
95. Did you sing today?:
96. Ever cheated on somebody?:
97. If you could go back in time:
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?:
100. Posting this as 100 truths?:

Message from conductor. IM JUST KIDDING :D

you guys can update the blog with videos, pictures or anything you would want :D

IM GETTING LAZY TO READ.

HAVE FUN :)

Since I think this retarded blog is near-death, better revive it some more. thanks xin li for iniating the revival mission. your generous and heroic (heroine-ic?) acts will be remembered til the day the world ends. come get a cookie from approx. 6200 miles away. :P

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David Beckham Visits A School

David Beckham is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the kids in the class if anyone can give him an example of a ‘tragedy’.

One little boy stands up and offers that if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him that would be a tragedy.

“No,” Beckham says, “that would be an ACCIDENT.”

A girl raises her hand.”If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved….. that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains Beckham. “That is what we would call a GREATLOSS. ”

The room is silent, none of the children volunteer.

“What?” asks Beckham, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says “If an airplane carrying David Beckham was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy.”

Beckham beams. “Marvellous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy “because it wouldn’t be an accident and it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bah was too lazy to write my own story. whoever can guess where i got this from gets another cookie from approx. 6200 miles away. :D

imtoolameandtooboredandtootired :)

a tiny part from Mind your language :)

Teacher: *shows milk*. Student A, could you tell what's this?

Student A: COW JUICE!

Teacher: ohmygod. it's MILK. and where do we get milk from?

Student A: from the milkman.

too lazy to write more. go watch it yourself :) it's the best show ever (Y) :)

cookies

One day a girl felt hungry and decided to go buy some cookies at the nearest 7-11. As she walked down the street she thought she saw someone following her. Then when she went into the store, a man walked in right after her. Though she was a bit worried she bought a packet of Chipsmore anyway, but also secretly bought a lighter without the man seeing. She exited the store, walking quickly. But looking behind she saw the man was directly behind her. So without thinking she whipped out the lighter and flipped the switch. For some reason the lighter was more powerful than a normal lighter and the flame actually shot out like a blowtorch flame, burning the man's right side of his face. Yelling angrily and in pain, he tried to grab her, but she hit him in the stomach and he doubled back. Then she had an impulsive idea. She grabbed her Chipsmores, tore the packet open started stuffing the cookies down the still-disorientated guy's mouth. Soon he was choking, which gave her the chance to escape.

When she got back home she was hungry with no cookies left. :P

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....My stories are starting to sound like xin lee's. :\

When everything goes wrong

I shall revive the blog ;D

One day, this stupid girl was so hungry that she went to cook maggi. She opened a packet of curry maggi mee and poured the mee into the hot boiling water. Since she was such a stupid girl, she forgot to take out the packet of curry powder. The packet of curry powder got boiled happily in the pot. But the stupid girl was quick enough to remove it before it exploded. Then, the stupid girl took an egg and cracked it into the pot. She knocked it 5 times, and she was so stupid that she forgot to throw the egg into the pot when it was cracked. After that, the stupid girl opened the packet of curry powder and poured it in the soup. The stupid girl was so stupid that she forgot to stir the stupid mee. She poured the soup into a bowl and started eating it. The maggi was overcooked and she realized that there were big chunks of curry powder. She just remembered that she forgot to stir the maggi mee.

Who was that stupid girl?

ME.

THE END :)

That Stupid Ladder.

The last 3 days have been really weird for me. I'm now lying strapped and handcuffed to a bed in the hospital, with no idea what's gonna happen to me.

It all started when I was cleaning the windows at my apartment balcony. I had gotten a ladder and had put it against the wall to reach the stupid window, but as I was climbing the ladder suddenly swung to the inside of the balcony. I lost my balance and fell, hitting my head hard on the tiled floor and passing out.

When I regained consciousness it was dark, like about 1 in the morning. I somehow managed to crawl through my apartment, find the phone, grab the phone, and call the ambulance, but I don't remember much since that head knock gave me a stupid concussion. My memory of the incident till now is in fragments.

But what was the scariest thing was that for a while, I couldn't remember anything. I was trying to remember people's names and where I was when I woke up; stuff like that. Now most of my memory's back but I still don't know what to call that woman who comes in the hospital room to check up on me. Something like, 'engineer' or 'pilot'. I don't know.

I only remember reaching the hospital in the ambulance and being dragged out on to one of those wheel hospital bed jobs. But after lying down for a moment my head started to hurt again. Stupid I think I had almost cracked part of my skull. But the thing was I really needed some ice. So I asked that engineer/pilot/something woman for some ice. But I don't think she understood what I said. I mean what's so hard with the sentence "I need ice! I need ice!"??? Even if the words were slurred together and I was yelling at the top of my voice you could still have heard it....well anyway since she didn't want to get the ice I got up myself and ran out of the room before she could stop me. I ran around everywhere looking for one of those ice and water dispensing machines, also grabbing a handkerchief from someone's pocket to hold the ice. But I couldn't find one anywhere.

Moments later a bunch of doctors and those engineer/pilot/something women caught up with me and grabbed my arms and legs, eventually carrying me back to my bed. I don't understand why they didn't listen to what I was saying. I mean I seriously needed that ice.

So now I'm lying here on my bed waiting for something to happen. They'd better hurry because the other patients in my room are starting to stare at the handcuffs and rope.

......I think they're called nurses.

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Feel free to continue the story if you wish. :P

Spoof Beauty and the Beast

School Life: The Dangers of a bottle of Twister

  Today was like any other boring day at school. The moment the lunch bell rang, I ditched my friends and ran to the canteen so that I wouldn't have to wait in a long queue to get my chicken rice. Then I ran to the drinks section and bought a bottle of Twister apple juice. Little did I know that this simple bottle of juice was about to become one of the deadliest weapons in the world.
  I ran and sat at an empty table, ready to stuff a spoonful of rice into my mouth, when I suddenly realized I was thirsty. So I opened the bottle of Twister; except that when I opened it, the bottle cap flew into the air and into some random guy's open mouth, just as he was about to bite into a burger. I watched as his eyes widened in surprise, and then he started choking and coughing violently. I did not go over to help him because I was too shocked, and I was still thirsty and wanted to drink my juice.
  So he continued choking and retching, and when he turned blue in the face some teachers ran over to see what was happening. But I calmly drank my juice and watched the drama that was happening before me. It was really exciting, like a 3-D movie.
  I was so distracted that I stopped drinking the juice, and the bottle tilted in my hand and the contents spilled onto the floor. A year 7 girl who was walking past slipped on the juice. She fell and knocked her head on the side of a chair and lay unconscious on the floor. Meanwhile, the bowl of hot soup and noodles that she was carrying flew into the air, and it fell on top of a teacher's head, scalding the teacher's face and causing the teacher to scream blue murder.
  I watched with excitement as accident after accident happened, each one becoming more gruesome and fatal.
  When the lunch bell rang again, I threw the empty bottle into air, aiming for the dustbin, but instead it hit the canteen worker in the eye, causing him to scream in pain and drop the stack of plates he was holding on some kindergarten kid. The kid had a concussion after that.
  I went back to class feeling that I had accomplished something great. I love my school! It's so exciting. I can't wait to see what will happen tomorrow. :D

When the world comes down

It was the moment I have been waiting for. I registered and waited at the waiting room. The sound of the clock ticking made my heart beat faster. A lady called my name. I was brought to another room. I was sweating all over even though the placed was air conditioned. I walked in the door with my books tightly under my arms. I said , "Good morning, Sir" and turned on the best smile i could do. On the way in, I accidentally dropped my books. The man asked me whether I needed help. I quickly answered no and picked up the books. I sat on the unbalanced chair. The chair made squeeky sounds. The man said, "Start whenever you are ready". I opened the book and slowly placed my hand on the keys. My heart dropped to the floor when I played the first note wrongly. I kept going and rushed through so it would end faster. Once I finished, I took my books and ran off without saying a word. I rushed out of the building and ran to my mom. I burst out of tears. I made her whole new shirt wet. I went back with disappointment.

Two months later, a mail came to my house with my name on it. I took it to my room and locked the room. Before I opened it, I started crying and said that there will be no more hope. I teared the envelope open. I shouted so loudly that my mom something bad happened. I managed to pass my piano exam. From that day onwards, I was a mentally ill kid.

With love :)

PS: I wrote that for my English exam :D EXCEPT THE LAST SENTENCE heehee :D

please fix any grammar mistakes. i made lots of it. im too lazy to read it again.

Prank Calls #1.

Will be an ongoing series. :P

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*phone rings*

NC: Hah? What?

*picks up phone*

NC: Hallo?

???: WHY YOU KEECK MAI RABBITT?!

NC: WHAT RABBIT???

???: THE BLUE ONE LARH! WHART ON EARTH YOUUU DO THAT FOR, SEE, NOW HAVE TO PAY RM1 FOR SURGERY. RM1!!! SEE SO EXPENSIVE. HAIYOHH........

NC: YOU GIVE ME ADDRESS THEN I SEND U MONEY LAH! I NEVER KICK ANY RABBIT SOMEMORE.

???: I DUWAN MONEY!

NC: Fine then what do you want???

???: GIVE ME YOUR FRIDGE.

NC: WHAT YOU WAN IT FOR?! GO KEEP YOUR GOLDFISH ELSEWHERE!

???: THEN GIVE ME YOUR FLOWER!

NC: WHICH ONE?! I'VE GOT SO MANY. YOU WAN THE RAINBOW ONE OR THE GRAY ONE
OR THE CHICKEN RICE ONE???

???: DUCK RICE ONE!

NC: I NEVER SAID I HAVE THE DUCK RICE ONE! ONLY CHICKEN RICE FLOWER LAH. MERAK RICE OSO GOT IF YOU WAN.

???: NVM. TOMOLO I COME TO YOUR HOUSE. YOU GIVE ME RAINWATER.

NC: GO TO BANJIR SITE FOR RAINWATER LAH!

???: BANJIR RAINWATER DIRTY. ALSO CAN DIE WAN.

NC: THEN GO TO TASIK! OR LAUT! OR SUNGAI BESI!

???: TASIK AND LAUT GOT FISH! SUNGAI BESI GOT.......BESI!

NC: WAT WRONG WITH FISH?

???: TASTE LIKE HAND SANITISER!

NC: THEN WHEN YOU COOK WASH THE SOAP OF FIRST LAH!

???: I WANT YOUR RAINWATER!!!

NC: WHY MY RAINWATER?!

???: BECAUSE YOU KEECK MAI RABBEEETT!!!

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The End......For Now.

*No, I'm not usually this rude on the phone, or anywhere else. My insan-yang-insane force isn't unleashed in public. :P

The dog named Sex

Hi readers!!

This is TehRandomiZeRz....

So... my first post.....

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.

He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."

The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

@ Copyright @ icesnake9985

School Life: The Mad Teacher

It was a normal school day. The students pushed and shoved each other to get to their classes. Some students even pushed teachers. but they didn't care even when one teacher got shoved so hard he tripped and rolled down the stairs. He had internal bleeding and was begging for help on the floor, but the students and teachers who walked past didn't give a damn.

  Anyways, back to my story. The students all went to their classes. My class' first subject for the day was mandarin. We were all expecting the usual old crone who's spit sprayed into our eyeballs as she taught us how to pronounce the weird-looking chinese characters she scribbled on the board. but no, today was different.

BEcause today, we had a new teacher.

  She did not only spit at our eyeballs, her spit sprayed EVERYWHERE else as well. She didn't scribble anything on the board, but wrote in gigantic letters as if we were stupid.

And she stank. She smelled of beer and whisky, and she looked as if she had not washed her hair (or her face) for a year. There was dirt smudged all over her face, and she probably should not have bothered to used a marker pen to write on the board, because the dirt on her hands could probably have substituted for ink.

But the worst part was, she was MAD.

when she gave out our exercise books, she THREW them. The few of us sitting at the front ducked, so the people at the back got face-fulls of books rather than us. (Pity them. I think most of them had nosebleeds after that.) And she was screaming out the chinese words on the board instead of saying them. But we all had iPod earphones stuffed in our ears so we hardly heard a word she said.

When she found this out, she ripped out one of my friend's ears, the earphone still dangling from it. There and then, we decided it was war.'

I grabbed a chair and flipped it upside down, and proceeded to throw it at the foul teacher. Some of my friends got out staplers and flipped the stapler bullets at her. But she got smart and took a pencil and tried to stab them. i continued throwing chairs at the foul, hideous woman. I hurt many of my friends while doing so, and i think i may have caused the deaths of one or two, but I say it was worth it. Soon, everyone around me had collapsed on the ground, except for Xin Li and Nicola. Nicola and I distracted the woman by spraying spray paint into her eyes (though i think we may have caused her permanent blindness instead) while Xin Li ran out of the classroom to get help from Mr. Kumar, the discipline teacher.

When he came, he yelled some gibberish in his Kumar-language, and then proceeded to grab a thick, heavy dictionary and thunk it on the mad mandarin teacher's head. Then he swore in Hindu and stomped out of the classroom, telling us to 'clean up the mess and dead bodies' or something.

But of course, being good students, we didn't. We decided to reward ourselves and take the rest of the day off.

My school is so exciting! I can't wait to see what will happen tomorrow.

Akimbo P90. :D

Two guys were trapped in their house to protect themselves from the world Nazi Zombie invasion, which had been created by an accidental experiment gone wrong, in Der Riese, Germany. On a Saturday night, as the two guys were barricading the front door, they heard loud noises coming from the back area, where the kitchen was. The zombies had managed to break down the unprotected back door and had infiltrated the house.

So the two guys quickly grabbed what weapons they had, i.e. a baseball bat and a rusty chainsaw, and crept behind the kitchen. To their surprise the zombies were eating food, in the pantry. The first guy wondered out aloud "Why are they eating NORMAL food and not US?" Too bad the zombies heard him and they charged out at them. The two of them ran backwards, hitting any zombie that came close. Unfortunately the second guy got bitten and within seconds was another zombie. The first guy managed to run out of the house.

He kept running until he reached a dark alleyway, but he was trapped at a dead end. The zombies saw him there and ran towards him.

That's when he saw the akimbo P90 set lying just on his right. He grabbed the two submachine guns and blasted the zombies apart. The number of bullets seemed endless. When they finally ran out, only a dozen zombies were left, already dying, but still alive. The man panicked, but just then noticed there was an RPG-7 lying on the trashcan. He picked it up and launched it immediately. He managed to explode the zombies with the rocket launcher.

And his arm, too. :P

The End.


*much reference taken from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Modern Warfare 2.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 © Infinity Ward

Donuts are cool

Since no one seemed to be updating, I shall just steal the post from my other blog :)

Click here to go to that blog. But I barely update that blog anymore. So here it is.

It was just an ordinary and usual day at work. I will buy Big Apple Donuts in the morning and bring them to work. I usually buy tons of it, around 10 or more. Somehow, I don’t grow fat eating them. Yet, I’m very skinny, like a stick but I am not a useless cop. I was awarded the best cop of the month last week. Solving crime is a very easy job for me. However, it didn’t really seemed that easy after all.

I was doing my usual duty, I was patrolling and I passed a bank. I saw a girl looking around her before entering the bank. She looked pretty young. Then, I actually could recognize her. Her name is Shuk Ling, one of formal schoolmates a few years back. I walked towards her, and said hi to her. She saw me, and quickly ran off. Suddenly, she pointed a gun at me. Everyone looked at us. She told everyone to leave the bank. Everyone quickly ran out of the bank. I asked her, “What are you actually up to?. She replied, “ I don’t understand you. This is my home. Why are you entering my house without my permission? “. I was puzzled after she said that. I said, “ This is your...home? But this is a bank, where people save their money,” I said. She said, “ What are you talking about? This is a bank? NO WAY! This is my house and why are you entering my house. I don’t even know you. Please leave now or I will rape you.” Before she could continue talking, I quickly stuffed some Big Apple donuts in her mouth I had in my pocket. I was a little sad, because I wasted the remaining donuts I had. I immediately snatched the gun from her hands. Out of a sudden, an ambulance arrived in front of the bank. I heard them saying, “ There’s our missing patient” . I finally understood everything. Shuk Ling was a mental patient. She somehow managed to escape from the mental hospital. They quickly tied her hands and legs up and dragged her to the ambulance. Shuk Ling was like Britney Spears. Screaming. Then, they gave her an injection to calm her down. She managed to calm down. They brought her back to the mental hospital.

I really regretted stuffing the donuts into her mouth. I feel so hungry now.

Written by : Xin Li and Shuk Ling :)

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