Of Pink Trees and Apocalypses (lolwut an update??? D:)

There is a pink tree swimming in space. One day it crashes into earth. As it crashes it laughs maniacally. Then it fires lasers and the whole universe explodes.







Taken from a PA Music Tech class idea -_____-

Pertemuan dengan Pontianak yang Berkilau (<--Shiny)

  Pada tengah malam satu hari, saya bangun dari tidur kerana dengar sesuatu yang kuat. Saya tidak terdengar bunyi itu lagi, dan ingin tidur semula. Tiba-tiba, saya dengar bunyi barang jatuh ke atas lantai. Saya berasa sangat takut. Tetapi saya tidak ada pilihan, dan pergi menyiasat apa-apa yang telah jadi.

  Saya keluar dari bilik saya dan mengambil badminton raket jika ada perompak. Saya tidak melihat apa-apa, dan pergi ke dapur untuk mengambil makanan kerana lapar. Tetapi sudah ada orang di situ!

  Saya memukul orang itu dengan raket di atas kepalanya. Orang itu menjerit kesakitan dan pandang belakang. Orang itu PONTIANAK! Saya menjerit dengan kuat, dan pontianak tersebut juga menjerit. Lagi saya menjerit, lagi pontianak menjerit. Akhirnya saya menyuruh dia jangan jerit lagi, nanti jiran-jiran saya takut.

  Pontianak itu seorang lelaki. Dia meminta maaf dan memberitahu saya bahawa dia tidak akan makan saya, dia hanya mahu minum air dan datang ke dapur saya kerana dia tidak ada air lagi dan dia tinggal di rumah berhampiran saya. Saya memberi pontianak itu air, dan dia meminum semua air di dalam tiga saat. Selepas minum air, pontianak itu memberitahu saya tentang dirinya.

  Dia cakap pontianak tidak boleh pergi jalan-jalan di bawah terang matahari. Mereka akan mati. Dia juga cakap pontianak akan menjadi berkilau jika berdiri di bawah matahari. Saya cakap, “ohh.”

  Kita bercakap selama beberapa jam. Apabila pontianak tersebut mengucapkan terima kasih dan bercakap selamat malam kerana mahu pulang ke rumahnya, saya bertanya dia untuk namanya.

  Dia cakap namanya Edward Cullen. Saya cakap “HAH!? EDWARD CULLEN DARI TWILIGHT!?” Dia cakap “Ya! Saya sangat terkenal, kan?” Saya cakap “TIDAK. FILEM KAMU CACAT DAN HARRY POTTER LEBIH BAIK! PERGI DARI SINI!” dan saya memukul dia lagi dengan raket saya.

  Itulah pertemuan saya dengan sebuah pontianak yang homo.

It was Christmas eve, Mr Yellow and his family were celebrating Christmas just like every year. They would have dinner, watch TV and then wait till it's 12am to open presents. Blue was more excited than ever to open his presents. He wished for a BlackBerry. His sister, Pink was not as excited as him as she only wished for an Apple iPod. Their eldest brother, Brown was the least thrilled. He wished for more wishes. When the clock striked 12am, they quickly opened their presents and all their faces totally changed. Blue and Pink started screaming at their parents for getting them a"Blackberry" and an "Apple". Brown told them, "Hey, when I was your age, I only had pokemon cards". Mrs Yellow was actually shocked when they wrote down their wishlist. She thought she could save money this year just buying fruits for them, but now she found out she misunderstood them. After the whole night fighting and arguing, they finally stopped as it was getting late.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)

Brain not working right this holiday, so yeah. broken english ftw! :D

Credits to tumblr :P

My story for English class: 'Killer Cookie Monster'

Intro:

Elmo: fluffy, red-coloured fur, best friends with Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster: aggressive and obsessive about his cookies, blu-coloured fur, best friends with Elmo

Oscar the Grouch: lives in a garbage can outside COokie Monster’s and Elmo’s cottage

Grover: dark blue fur, lanky, gangster-like

Setting: their cottage is near some woods, with huge open fields and grassy hills around

Conflict:

1. Cookie monster feeds rabbits, while Elmo is playing with newly-bought light saber in garden. Oscar comes into garden, and asks if he can try the light saber. But Elmo says “Okay, in awhile.” 
2. Oscar becomes impatient and tried to grab the light saber from Elmo who is absent-mindedly swinging it around, unaware of what Oscar was doing.
3. As a result, Elmo accidentally slices off Oscar’s head with the light saber.

Action related to conflict:

1. Elmo is shocked and scared, and doesn’t know what to do. Then he looks down, and sees that the bloodstains on his fur had blended right in with his red fur. He has an idea.
2. Elmo runs up to Cookie Monster and hugs him, making the bloodstains stain bright on his blue fur. Cookie Monster looks up and sees the decapitated Oscar’s body, and realizes what Elmo is doing. Elmo then phones the police, Ernie and Bert, and tells them that Cookie Monster killed Oscar.
3. Cookie Monster asks Elmo why he is doing this, and Elmo cries and apologizes, saying he wasn’t thinking, and that he was very scared. Cookie Monster forgives him, and says that he will handle the cops when they arrive.

Climax:

1. Ernie and Bert, the cops, arrive. They take out pistols and point them at Cookie Monster, who distracts them and buys time by keeping the cops talking. He slowly walks backwards until he reaches a chainsaw.
2. Cookie Monster grabs the chainsaw and kills Ernie and Bert.
3. Cooke Monster hugs the crying Elmo goodbye, and tells him that he is running away. He tells Elmo to stay at the cottage, and clear things up, and that if people come looking for Cookie Monster to tell them that he committed suicide. They hug goodbye, and Cookie Monster sets off.

Resolution (Open Ending):

1. A year later, Cookie Monster is watching television in his flat, when there is a knock on his front door.
2. He opens the door and sees Grover, who is pointing a gun at him.

 Grover says that he had been tracking Cookie Monster down ever since he heard that he had committed suicide, because he hadn’t believed it, and also because he wanted to take revenge on Cookie Monster for killing his father, Bert.

1. Grover shoots Cookie Monster in the head, and runs away.

School Life: School Production

  Today started just like any other boring day at production rehearsal. But soon it became quite exciting. It all started when Mr A asked the orchestra members to help with the props for the day, because he said we always 'sit around and do nothing and play computer games only'. NOT TRUE WHAT! We always doing something. Just not playing instrument all the time only. Conductor also playing Plants vs Zombies on iPad!

  So, anyways, we went to help, because we are good students. Four of us decided to do painting, because painting is fun. My paint was red, Nicola's was blue, Xin Li's was yellow and Andrew's was pink. We got to work.

  First we had to paint the fake bookshelf on the top of the stairs. We decided to make it look interesting because it would be nicer. So we very pro and splash the paint everywhere on the bookshelf. Then suddenly Mr A saw and scolded us. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!? WHY GO AND PAINT LIKE THAT!? NOW ALL SPOIL ALREADY!!"

  Suddenly Nicola slipped on a spot of paint, and knocked me. My bucket of red paint went flying over the railing and on top of Mr A's screaming head. He was shocked for a moment, but then started yelling again. But it was very muffled because the bucket was stuck on his head, and he was probably swallowing mouthfuls of red paint. He was also wearing white, so his shirt had red all over it, and it looked like blood. He tried screaming for help and trying to get it off, but he couldn't.

  The four of us just stood there watching at the struggling Mr A. Suddenly he walked out of the hall door, and the four of us followed him to see where he was going. He tripped going down stairs, and rolled all the way to the bottom, finally the bucket on his head colliding with the floor. He cursed out loud and tried feeling his way around with his hands. Xin Li took alot of pictures. I can't wait for her to tag him on facebook.

  Then suddenly Mr A barged into year 9 Terra. The whole class stared at him, then started screaming. They thought the paint was blood. The teacher tried to calm the class down, but when she saw Mr A she also started cursing in Hindu. So Mr A turned around, and didn't know it but walked into Pn. Zainab's office. She took one look at him and fainted.

  Soon, as he was walking around scaring students til they fainted, the sick room in our school started filling up. One fat boy had to be sent to hospital because he was eating a fishball and choked on it when he saw Mr A, and a girl also sent to hospital because she saw him and suffered heart attack.

  I think today was a very fun day, and Mr A learnt a lesson: never ever yell at students again.

  I think he got fired.

Cikgu Rahman bersama lapan orang muridnya sedang berkhemah di sebuah hutan di negeri Pahang. Suasana di hutan itu sungguh nyaman dan sejuk. Mereka mendirikan khemah di tepi sungai yang jernih airnya. Mereka menikmati makan tengah hari, tiba-tiba salah seorang murid bernama Ramesh menjerit setelah terlihat seekor gajah meruntuhkan khemah mereka. Di belakang gajah, kelihatan banyak pengganas melari ke arah mereka dengan senjata AK-47. Mereka mendekati Cikgu Rahman dan berminta main 'knife match' dengannya. Untuk menyelamatkan muridnya yang sedang dikejar oleh gajah, Cikgu Rahman mengunakan Macbook dia dan main 'knife'. Beliau telah memanjat ke atas Killhouse. Terlihat banyak c4 di atas lantai. Pengganas itu bodoh dan pergi knife itu lalu mati. Akhirnya hingga Bin Laden yang tinggal ah means ah Mr ..... telah menggunakan ah means ah RPG untuk membunuh ah means ah gajah itu. Selepas mengagal knife pengganas itu, Bin Laden menggunakan helah memanggil helicopter. Cikgu Rahman telah RPG helikopter itu dan akhirnya menggunakan kerisnya membunuh Bin Laden. Semua orang bersorak dan pergi menyaksikan perkahwinan Kevin dan Amanda. Justin bin Bieber telah menyanyikan lagu "Babi" untuk akhir movie awesome itu.

Credits to Andrew :D hahahahahah!

that's why we always get an A for malay exam :)

The house shooked, the windows rattled, a framed photograph of Mr _____ slipped off the shelf and fell into the hearth. There was an earthquake because his fat wife just entered the house, the windows were broken and the photo was not hung properly. Then, the clock z 13. A moments silent, a whistle blew and the garden became filled with moving shadows and running footsteps. Mr _____'s friends were all waiting for him to come back from his shop, Mr _____'s Maths Tuition ( open 25 hours a day ) to give him a surprise. They all bought him a "pie", perfume and Gatsby hair gel. Sophia bought him a clock that only have 12 hours.

When Mr _____ reached home, he grabbed his kids from the car and hung them by the tree. He started whipping them and asked them why they did not get 100 for maths. They cried for mercy. His wife tried to stop him but she ended up getting hung and whipped too. His friends said SURPRISE! and he died of a heart attack.