School Life: The Mad Teacher

It was a normal school day. The students pushed and shoved each other to get to their classes. Some students even pushed teachers. but they didn't care even when one teacher got shoved so hard he tripped and rolled down the stairs. He had internal bleeding and was begging for help on the floor, but the students and teachers who walked past didn't give a damn.

  Anyways, back to my story. The students all went to their classes. My class' first subject for the day was mandarin. We were all expecting the usual old crone who's spit sprayed into our eyeballs as she taught us how to pronounce the weird-looking chinese characters she scribbled on the board. but no, today was different.

BEcause today, we had a new teacher.

  She did not only spit at our eyeballs, her spit sprayed EVERYWHERE else as well. She didn't scribble anything on the board, but wrote in gigantic letters as if we were stupid.

And she stank. She smelled of beer and whisky, and she looked as if she had not washed her hair (or her face) for a year. There was dirt smudged all over her face, and she probably should not have bothered to used a marker pen to write on the board, because the dirt on her hands could probably have substituted for ink.

But the worst part was, she was MAD.

when she gave out our exercise books, she THREW them. The few of us sitting at the front ducked, so the people at the back got face-fulls of books rather than us. (Pity them. I think most of them had nosebleeds after that.) And she was screaming out the chinese words on the board instead of saying them. But we all had iPod earphones stuffed in our ears so we hardly heard a word she said.

When she found this out, she ripped out one of my friend's ears, the earphone still dangling from it. There and then, we decided it was war.'

I grabbed a chair and flipped it upside down, and proceeded to throw it at the foul teacher. Some of my friends got out staplers and flipped the stapler bullets at her. But she got smart and took a pencil and tried to stab them. i continued throwing chairs at the foul, hideous woman. I hurt many of my friends while doing so, and i think i may have caused the deaths of one or two, but I say it was worth it. Soon, everyone around me had collapsed on the ground, except for Xin Li and Nicola. Nicola and I distracted the woman by spraying spray paint into her eyes (though i think we may have caused her permanent blindness instead) while Xin Li ran out of the classroom to get help from Mr. Kumar, the discipline teacher.

When he came, he yelled some gibberish in his Kumar-language, and then proceeded to grab a thick, heavy dictionary and thunk it on the mad mandarin teacher's head. Then he swore in Hindu and stomped out of the classroom, telling us to 'clean up the mess and dead bodies' or something.

But of course, being good students, we didn't. We decided to reward ourselves and take the rest of the day off.

My school is so exciting! I can't wait to see what will happen tomorrow.

Akimbo P90. :D

Two guys were trapped in their house to protect themselves from the world Nazi Zombie invasion, which had been created by an accidental experiment gone wrong, in Der Riese, Germany. On a Saturday night, as the two guys were barricading the front door, they heard loud noises coming from the back area, where the kitchen was. The zombies had managed to break down the unprotected back door and had infiltrated the house.

So the two guys quickly grabbed what weapons they had, i.e. a baseball bat and a rusty chainsaw, and crept behind the kitchen. To their surprise the zombies were eating food, in the pantry. The first guy wondered out aloud "Why are they eating NORMAL food and not US?" Too bad the zombies heard him and they charged out at them. The two of them ran backwards, hitting any zombie that came close. Unfortunately the second guy got bitten and within seconds was another zombie. The first guy managed to run out of the house.

He kept running until he reached a dark alleyway, but he was trapped at a dead end. The zombies saw him there and ran towards him.

That's when he saw the akimbo P90 set lying just on his right. He grabbed the two submachine guns and blasted the zombies apart. The number of bullets seemed endless. When they finally ran out, only a dozen zombies were left, already dying, but still alive. The man panicked, but just then noticed there was an RPG-7 lying on the trashcan. He picked it up and launched it immediately. He managed to explode the zombies with the rocket launcher.

And his arm, too. :P

The End.


*much reference taken from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Modern Warfare 2.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 © Infinity Ward

Donuts are cool

Since no one seemed to be updating, I shall just steal the post from my other blog :)

Click here to go to that blog. But I barely update that blog anymore. So here it is.

It was just an ordinary and usual day at work. I will buy Big Apple Donuts in the morning and bring them to work. I usually buy tons of it, around 10 or more. Somehow, I don’t grow fat eating them. Yet, I’m very skinny, like a stick but I am not a useless cop. I was awarded the best cop of the month last week. Solving crime is a very easy job for me. However, it didn’t really seemed that easy after all.

I was doing my usual duty, I was patrolling and I passed a bank. I saw a girl looking around her before entering the bank. She looked pretty young. Then, I actually could recognize her. Her name is Shuk Ling, one of formal schoolmates a few years back. I walked towards her, and said hi to her. She saw me, and quickly ran off. Suddenly, she pointed a gun at me. Everyone looked at us. She told everyone to leave the bank. Everyone quickly ran out of the bank. I asked her, “What are you actually up to?. She replied, “ I don’t understand you. This is my home. Why are you entering my house without my permission? “. I was puzzled after she said that. I said, “ This is your...home? But this is a bank, where people save their money,” I said. She said, “ What are you talking about? This is a bank? NO WAY! This is my house and why are you entering my house. I don’t even know you. Please leave now or I will rape you.” Before she could continue talking, I quickly stuffed some Big Apple donuts in her mouth I had in my pocket. I was a little sad, because I wasted the remaining donuts I had. I immediately snatched the gun from her hands. Out of a sudden, an ambulance arrived in front of the bank. I heard them saying, “ There’s our missing patient” . I finally understood everything. Shuk Ling was a mental patient. She somehow managed to escape from the mental hospital. They quickly tied her hands and legs up and dragged her to the ambulance. Shuk Ling was like Britney Spears. Screaming. Then, they gave her an injection to calm her down. She managed to calm down. They brought her back to the mental hospital.

I really regretted stuffing the donuts into her mouth. I feel so hungry now.

Written by : Xin Li and Shuk Ling :)

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