The house shooked, the windows rattled, a framed photograph of Mr _____ slipped off the shelf and fell into the hearth. There was an earthquake because his fat wife just entered the house, the windows were broken and the photo was not hung properly. Then, the clock z 13. A moments silent, a whistle blew and the garden became filled with moving shadows and running footsteps. Mr _____'s friends were all waiting for him to come back from his shop, Mr _____'s Maths Tuition ( open 25 hours a day ) to give him a surprise. They all bought him a "pie", perfume and Gatsby hair gel. Sophia bought him a clock that only have 12 hours.

When Mr _____ reached home, he grabbed his kids from the car and hung them by the tree. He started whipping them and asked them why they did not get 100 for maths. They cried for mercy. His wife tried to stop him but she ended up getting hung and whipped too. His friends said SURPRISE! and he died of a heart attack.

Stupid Climb.

It was one early morning when I decided to go mountain climbing. I called the center at Kota Kinabalu and asked if I could book a time. They said that they would be free from 2pm and that there were a lot of people, but I was okay with it and agreed with the planning. I quickly ate a packet of Chipsmore cookies that I had left in the freezer for about 2 months in case of emergency, then quickly took a bus ride to the nearest jetty in east Malaysia. But the only boat available was a ferry so it took me about 4 hours, so I couldn't see anything else, and by the time I got to the Mt. Kinabalu place it was 2.30 pm and raining. Luckily the other people were still waiting there, and I insisted on going, so we did. Halfway up I got stuck to a tree and couldn't get out for the next few hours since everyone else wanted to go up first, so I was left there to starve and get even more soaked with the now banjir-causing rain. When they finally came down I had gotten out of the tree myself and was now at the top of Mt. Kinabalu, which unfortunately did not have snow anymore thanks to global warming. The End.

Pier Pressure

DJ Fatboy not so Slim threw a party and only 1 reveller came ( but he went back home since there was no one there ) . He was all alone eating Ramli burgers by the seaside. Then, his friend, DJ Slimboy not so Fat came with some chapaties. Suddenly, an officer named Chief Inspector Not Fat Not Slim came and asked whether they are still hungry. So DJ Fatboy not so slim, DJ Slimboy not so fat and Chief Inspector Not Fat Not Slim went to Burger King. That means ah get fat, no more slim.

Come on people :)

UPDATEEEE!

yes im spamming everywhere with my super awesome essay. kthanksbye.

Dear sir,

I went to your "Lookout Mountain" and I had to LOOK for your mountain. I went there with high hopes but I came back with low hopes. Your "mountain" is so beautiful, I saw your Proton Saga behind the projector ( P.S. : you should really get a new car ).

My friend, Ali, who is a professional hiker almost died after climbing your mountain. Your "pilots" were sitting in the Proton Saga behind the projector rolling chapaties with their "hangs".

Therefore, I want my money back. You have to pay for the petrol of my car. KMA! CEH! We took 12 hours to find your stupid mountains. First, we drove to Singapore. Then, we kayaked to Fuckhet. On the way, we stopped at Bangcock to see some peacocks. Finally, we reached at your "oh-so-called lookout mountains".

Thank you for your cheap time. At least you know that I am still alive but you better pray for me. I got food poisoning from eating your chapaties and I broke all my bones. Now, I am like a snake and I will bite you.